Spilt Coffee

[Just to clarify, I'm writting this through a male narrator's point of view]

"God, how do you do it? Girls are all over you in a second!"

Rick handed me my cup and we made our way out of the coffee shop and thanked to the nice waitress on the way out. She winked at Rick.

"Oh c'mon, they're all over you in less than a second!"

He smiled, his eyes flashed that egoistical pride I know so well - then his smile faded, "But they never stay around for more than one night!"

"And whose fault is that?" At which point Rick playfully punched me in the arm, causing me to nearly spill my coffee, "Hey hey, watch it! And you know what I'm talking about. If you want girls to stay, you have to treat them like real people and not just like your one night stand hookups."

He punched me again and added a feeble, "I...try," under his breath.

Rick has always been physical, even when growing up - lack of a father or a father figure can do that to a child. I was the fragile child, my mother never wanted to put any responsibility on Rick, she wanted her sons to get along on their own terms, we were very different. I was constantly bullied in school for being... different. Rick stood up for me, all the time. He grew into using his physical strength to prove to himself he was strong. Emotions were his weakness as a teenager, so he never got around to being affectionate to anyone apart from what was left of our family.

So it's no surprise that he came to me about his girl problems - I am his complete opposite. I was never popular, but by college, people learned to accept me and girls loved me. They're just friends and acquaintances though. For Rick they were physical conquests, but that was unintentionally done. He does try, but how do you stop a player from being one, eh?

"You haven't met the right chick yet, dude," I told him for the thousandth time. "But once you do, you're going to feel like amazing, I promise you. It's like, what they look like, it doesn't matter - this someone has to be... special - bear with me I know I sound like a brochure for true love, but it's true! Someone that'll take your breath away, and being with them is the only thing that's gonna make you wanna breathe again. Y'know?"

He gave me that funny grin he had always given me since childhood that implied I sounded ridiculously crazy to him, then he came out of it, "Well you would know about it - look at you, you got a bag full of your clothes - you guys are getting quite serious, huh?"

I gripped the bag that hung on my shoulder, "Heh, yeah..." To be honest I was a bit nervous. Actually, just really nervous.

"If you're so sure about this relationship, why don't you just move in?"

I hesitated a while before answering while flashbacks of agonising pieces of memories shot through my mind. "Well, we still have some problems, but I'm not going to give up. I know what we've been through in the past was... hard, painful. But y'know, it's just going to be so much more worth it in the end."

I managed a smile.

"Wow. So this is the one for you?"

I laughed at the affectionate tone I didn't know my brute brother had, "Well, if it isn't, I'll know soon I guess - that's why I'm taking it slow with this whole moving in thing."

At that moment, someone from ahead of us called out to Rick, and Rick stopped in his tracks at the sight of the blonde in the black dress storming towards us. I didn't recognise her so I nudged Rick, "Who's she? She looks pissed"

"Uhh..."

Before he got the time to answer, the blonde slapped Rick's coffee to the ground - it landed quite far from him which was quite impressive - and I already know who she is and why she's pissed.

"You... never... CALLED!"

I took a sip from my cup and she noticed me, "Oh hey, Al."

"Hey, Mona - didn't recognise you with your new 'do. It looks really great on you, as if you couldn't look any hotter." I stopped talking when I saw the annoyed look on Rick's face and continued drinking my coffee.

Another mad girl fracas that Rick has managed to magnetise through his unintentional 'conquests.' Mona was a case of a few drunken nights, so it's one really messy situation.

While Rick and Mona were arguing about who's wrong and who lost whose number and...whatnot, I was actually grateful for a moment that this disruption happened. I was going to be delayed from occupying the empty space in the cupboard awaiting for me, my first step towards commitment.

What was I thinking, how could I not look forward to this, I've been wanting this for the whole year! Well, practically. So I forced myself to be excited. Because I should be. I know I should be, so why the hell do I feel like -

"I have to go, Mona! Al has something important and we're late!" Rick grabbed my arm, waved to a still-frantic Mona and we stormed out of disaster zone into the entrance of my lover's apartment. From one, to another... I told myself to shut up.

I felt like confiding in Rick about it, however by this time he had on that I'm-so-proud-of-you grin on his face. I was the only reason he believes in true love. Seeing his grin I knew I couldn't turn back, I knew what I really wanted at that moment. Or at least I thought so.

"I'm going up." I said with a majorly idiotic grin on my face.

"Good luck, bro. Call me if you need anything alright."

"I will - oh hey, keep away from your messy conquests, alright? I wont be around to swing you outta all your disasters."

As I walked out of the elevator towards the door I knew so well, I found it unlocked and slightly opened. This, would have been normal... except for the fact that there was this terrible feeling in my chest as I heard grunting noises coming from inside.

Suddenly everything slowed down as I crept closer, I didn't wanted to make a noise. Then I heard a female's voice coming from inside, "Oh, Brad!" I knew what was happening. But I didn't stopped. Why didn't I stopped, maybe if I didn't see them I would have been able to forgive them. Or at least forget. But how could I, he promised this would never happen again. I know I was ten minutes earlier then the time we agreed on...

I just didn't think this was the reason we agreed on a time at all.

What I saw made everything stop. Everything. I stopped breathing, blinking, thinking, swallowing... stopped holding my coffee cup which fell to the floor. It immediately yet silently thumped into the floor, it's brown warm liquid flying in all directions, staining everything it touched - the floor, my pants, my shoes. If that coffee cup was my heart then my heart was being drained in that few seconds. My eyes blurred with hatred, but I had stopped feeling anything apart from utter, enormous... grief.

The only thing not stopping or slowing down was my heart. And the hideous ride of ecstasy that was going on behind those once beloved unclosed door.

I could not stand there anymore. I just... I...

I finally felt my legs, took a deep breath and stomped off. They didn't hear me by the sounds of it. But I couldn't care. How could they! My lover and my friend. This would be perfect if I enjoyed misery. But I don't - oh how I wish I did at that one very moment. How else could I have dealt with it.

Tears raced down my cheeks, I wasn't really breathing. More like, hyperventilating. One of my shoe made a quiet squishing noise as I stomped into the elevator. It was the spilt coffee. That saying came to my mind, the one about taking your heart outta it's ribcage and stomping on it. Oh God, they rammed all over it. I confided in them, I trusted them. We had our problems but you promised to work on it, goddammit, why couldn't you tell me if you still had problems!

I went to the staircase when I reached the lobby, dumped the bag that was once the hopes and desires I coveted so dearly into the ground. I caught sight of a stained blob from the spilt coffee on it.

My heart was pounding so much instead of feeling like it was getting stabbed I was worried it might stab me. Well it might as well have, that would have been better than facing reality after denying it. I didn't know what to do.

"Oh God... oh my God, why... why."

As I shook everywhere, alone and breaking apart, spilling out into the floor, my eyes spraying sharp salty tears down my face, my neck, the sleeves of my jacket were soaking... I felt vulnerable. The trust I had devoted to this relationship... it was being raped and I was the only victim. I fumbled for my phone, there was only one person I could to talk to...

"Rick... Rick..."

"Al?? Al, what happened!"

"I... uhh.... huh... I... Rick... She... Him... I..."

"Okay, hey, calm down! What's up?"

"My boyfriend's cheating on me. Again."

p/s: Too sleepy to read it over - any spelling/grammatical errors beep me about it. I hate proof reading my works :P